a crazy thing...

So, I did a crazy thing a few months ago. On a dare (which I could never really pass up). A friend of mine ask me, "What present are you asking for from God for Christmas?" My first response was confusion. What? My next response was that I am not asking him for anything really, ever. Other than my normal, please help me be patient with my kids and husband and loving to other people, and to forgive me when I fail miserably. The more she talked about it, the more I pondered the idea. I know people who have ask, are asking, big things from God, and he really does answer them so why not ask? I had had a pretty hard few months so I decided to ask the Lord for a new, fresh start. Something different, something new, something to break my heart of it's sedentary place. Crazy...I committed to praying about it daily. Probably a first for me.

The next week, my Women Getting Real Group (probably 40 or so women) had a Christmas present exchange. We were supposed to bring in a little gift, something we made, something we bought for a couple of dollars, and we were supposed to pray over it and trust that the Lord would lead our little gifts to the correct people as we randomly passed them out. I saw people get cute bookmarks with great scriptures on them, plaques with beautiful sunrises or butterflies. Me? I got a journal. A very ugly journal with pastel flowers on it. I do not use the journals that I have and I do not do pastels, especially not pastel flowers. Someone had obviously just had this at home and re-gifted it because they didn't like it either and didn't use it. Great, I thought, one more thing to go in my yard sale pile.

I opened it up and the sweet person that had brought this gift had put a handwritten note in it and a verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 which says,

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

The note to me said, "Start a new journey, a new path with the Lord this Christmas." OK Lord, I will take that and cherish it as a word from you and try not to think about the cover of the journal.

What did this mean? This new path, this new beginning? I had no idea and it made me excited to think about it. Nervous as well. The Lord and I have traveled down plenty of not so fun paths. But He tells me in His word that he will make that path straight. My role, in His mercy and grace, is to trust Him with all my heart and not my own understanding. To acknowledge Him, above all things.

This started the first of many conversations that the Lord and I started to have about my "new and straight path."

Almost 4 months later, I am still walking that path. More to come...