Friday, March 11, 2011

We Hit The Teens!!!!

Even though everything is totally unstable right now in Ethiopian Adoptions (in a worldy sense anyway), I can't help but be excited that we finally hit the teens (unofficially) for both of our numbers.

We are now #19 for a girl, and #13 for siblings.

We have also made the decision to change our age parameters to 0-24 months. another blog post on that one...

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Seriously, I feel REALLY pregnant. Not just adoption pregnant. My moods are all over the place. It has been a very emotional week, full of praying and crying out. I am one minute crying, the next crying in joy, the next yelling, the next hugging and ecstatic. Not sure what to expect from myself at any moment.

There have been big changes that have come up in the Ethiopian Adoption process and we have no idea how this is going to change things for us, not to mention the impact it could possibly have on the waiting orphans in that country. You can read more about that here:

Suffice to say, it could drastically increase our wait times. I am talking years, not months. So I wake up in the mornings knowing that this is going on and my heart is so very heavy. Then I look on our list serve of other families in our agency and see baby and after baby (4 to be exact) being referred out to what will become their forever family and my heart burst with joy, with excitement, with amazement, with thanksgiving. I am reminded of the David Crowder Song, "You Are My Joy!!" (
And he set me on fire and I am burning alive.
With his breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in
Remain composed.
Love's taken over me
So I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I just can't hold it in.

Someone once told me at the beginning of this that adoption is a journey, and maybe, just maybe there will be a child for you in the end. I have given lip service to that - saying that it has been an amazing journey - and it has. But the significance of - there just might be a child in the end - has never really sank in - until now. Until I am faced with the possibility that there might not be, and if there is it could be years. That the little faces I have pictured and the sweet moments and the hard ones I have been preparing myself for seem a little less real. There is much grief in that.

And I am faced with loving a people who will be suffering even more. More children in institutions for years instead of months, decreasing their chances of ever being adopted as they get older. More children on the streets, dying, hungry, because there are no open beds for them in the institutions.

I understand. I do. I am thankful that we have people who want to ensure that adoptions are ethical and protect the children and their families. My heart is for the children.

My prayers have slowly changed from asking the Lord to please stop this, to praying that his Will be done. If this is His way of protecting them then so be it, I trust Him. I will continue to pray.