We picked up our Home Study on Friday and submitted out Dossier today! So very excited to get past this big step! It has been an adventure so far and the Lord has been very gracious to us through it. Always guiding and directing...
I am sure, and I am preparing myself, that there will need to be changes, additions, corrections, etc. but just to take this step feels like I can take a big breath. Once it is all reviewed and finalized (which will probably happen next Friday and then we will have to make any changes that need to be made), our next step is to BE PUT ON THE WAITING LIST!! Doesn't sound all that exciting, but just the thought that we are on the LIST is awesome. One more step to bringing our baby home.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
An interesting perspective...
As I cram myself full of information on Ethiopian foods and customes, my husband is filling his brain with information about the Ethiopian Orthodox Church. One of the things that he read yesterday was particularly interesting.
The Ethiopian Orthodox Church believes that at the time of resurrection, the men will be resurrected as his mature self, which is at the age of 30. The female will be resurrected as her mature self, which is at the age of 15.
I am not sure where exactly these beliefs come from, but as a women, I find this very interesting!
The Ethiopian Orthodox Church believes that at the time of resurrection, the men will be resurrected as his mature self, which is at the age of 30. The female will be resurrected as her mature self, which is at the age of 15.
I am not sure where exactly these beliefs come from, but as a women, I find this very interesting!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Getting Educated...
After about 25 hours on Adoption Education, I remember why I quite Law School! Good stuff to be sure, but man my brain hasn't worked this hard in years!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
When Doubts Come
I have had several moments of doubt lately. Mostly when I get so caught up in the paperwork of all this, or when my focus leans toward the risks involved, I really doubt. I have several times in the last few weeks wondered, why am I doing this to myself? Why not live the way everyone else in our western world seems to try to live? When I look at the hard things this could mean for my family, I think I am a little crazy. Not even hard things really. I am not talking about not being able to afford food or clothes for my kids. I am talking about the luxuries in my life that I already take for granted. Like not getting to go on a big trip for my 10 year anniversary this year. My anniversary gift gets to be to get put on a waiting list. It makes me think of what Melissa Fay Greene (author of There Is No Me Without You) said in one of her interviews, "Look, we ran out of bedrooms about four children ago. And no one has invited our whole family to dinner since about 1998." Is this what we have a head of us, a packed house, no one inviting us to dinner because they can't afford to feed all of us, not being able to go on vacations because we can't afford it with four or more kids. Sometimes I can laugh and say a resounding, "YES Lord! I hope that is what you have in store for us." Other times, my response is a little, OK a lot, more hesitant. I get whiny and dramatic thinking about how "EVERYONE" else gets to live a life of ease while I am stuck here in my large, suburban, air-conditioned house with my cup of tea and snack beside me, while I type on my computer. Even now as i write it, I am laughing at myself. That I can get so bent out of shape over the thought of not getting something (like having to choose Kroger brand ice cream instead of Ben and Jerry's or not getting to go on a cruise for my anniversary), when my Ethiopian child (when she is born) will be lucky to even get held, or fed regularly, or get her diapers changed.
I want to stop here for a second and say this: Please do not hear me wrong, I am not judging going on vacation or having a nice home. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things. There is nothing super holy or special about our decision to adopt either. It is just where the Lord has us.
So, where do my doubts come from? Jesus tells us about the Devil in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy" he then tells us about Himself "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I have to ask myself, Who am I going to do life with?
James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
So, am I going to chase after the world? Am I going to run to those things that seem easy and safe? I want to, at times. I long to, at times. I run to my coping mechanisms, I run to my chocolate, and my thoughts of an easy, stress-free life with lots of money and no worries. Will that bring me life? Jesus says No. Who will I believe, my petty desires, or the God of the Universe?
We haven't told tons of people about our adoption (other than this PUBLIC blog :-)). We sent out an email to a few people who have been special in our lives. I have gotten a few responses like, "you are so amazing!" I am so NOT amazing on my own. I am only amazing because the Lord has called me to be His beloved child. I often want to follow the world, and give up on this idea that the Lord has called us to live differently than the world does. This is where the Lord is calling us to go and I know that to not follow that calling will mean to miss out on the LIFE that the Lord offers me. It would mean to follow something else, something that wants to "kill, steal, and destroy" my joy, my life. I pray the Lord's protection from that.
I love this video of Francis Chan. I hits my heart every time I watch it. I hope it hits yours too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ
I want to stop here for a second and say this: Please do not hear me wrong, I am not judging going on vacation or having a nice home. There is nothing inherently wrong with those things. There is nothing super holy or special about our decision to adopt either. It is just where the Lord has us.
So, where do my doubts come from? Jesus tells us about the Devil in John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy" he then tells us about Himself "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I have to ask myself, Who am I going to do life with?
James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
So, am I going to chase after the world? Am I going to run to those things that seem easy and safe? I want to, at times. I long to, at times. I run to my coping mechanisms, I run to my chocolate, and my thoughts of an easy, stress-free life with lots of money and no worries. Will that bring me life? Jesus says No. Who will I believe, my petty desires, or the God of the Universe?
We haven't told tons of people about our adoption (other than this PUBLIC blog :-)). We sent out an email to a few people who have been special in our lives. I have gotten a few responses like, "you are so amazing!" I am so NOT amazing on my own. I am only amazing because the Lord has called me to be His beloved child. I often want to follow the world, and give up on this idea that the Lord has called us to live differently than the world does. This is where the Lord is calling us to go and I know that to not follow that calling will mean to miss out on the LIFE that the Lord offers me. It would mean to follow something else, something that wants to "kill, steal, and destroy" my joy, my life. I pray the Lord's protection from that.
I love this video of Francis Chan. I hits my heart every time I watch it. I hope it hits yours too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Blindness of Youth
It is a beautiful thing. I wish we could retain it throughout adulthood. I have read in I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla that children don't start seeing people in color until around 3 or so. I experienced this first hand today. It was a bit embarrassing, but mostly was a funny, enlightening and sweet experience.
My youngest child, who is just a few short months from being two, is very friendly with strangers. Hugs them, pats their bottoms, buries his nose in their legs. Any one's legs will do really. It is a tad embarrassing when he smiles up at other women and calls them "Mommy", but sometimes even more so when he does it with other men and calls them "Daddy". I always want to assure the men that he really does have an amazing dad, he just calls all adult men "Daddy".
So, the story...
Checking out at Wal-Mart with my not so few items, trying to contain my children as they roam about. We were being checked out by a mid-30's, attractive African American man. A Christian man if his cross and tattoos mean anything. Micah, true to his friendly self, looks at him, smiles and says very loudly, "Daddy!!" The guys just smiles and laughs at him. Normally I can move on, but he is still checking me out. Micah says it again loudly and points to him, "Daddy!!" I just laugh and say, "Micah that isn't Daddy. Daddy is at work. He doesn't look anything like your Daddy." The cashier thought this was hilarious, for obvious reasons. Very embarrassed now, we move on and the cashier waves at Micah and says, "Bye Son!"
Love how that didn't even seem weird to my little boy. How he didn't see a color, but just a sweet guy who would play along with him. Wish that we could all be that way.
My youngest child, who is just a few short months from being two, is very friendly with strangers. Hugs them, pats their bottoms, buries his nose in their legs. Any one's legs will do really. It is a tad embarrassing when he smiles up at other women and calls them "Mommy", but sometimes even more so when he does it with other men and calls them "Daddy". I always want to assure the men that he really does have an amazing dad, he just calls all adult men "Daddy".
So, the story...
Checking out at Wal-Mart with my not so few items, trying to contain my children as they roam about. We were being checked out by a mid-30's, attractive African American man. A Christian man if his cross and tattoos mean anything. Micah, true to his friendly self, looks at him, smiles and says very loudly, "Daddy!!" The guys just smiles and laughs at him. Normally I can move on, but he is still checking me out. Micah says it again loudly and points to him, "Daddy!!" I just laugh and say, "Micah that isn't Daddy. Daddy is at work. He doesn't look anything like your Daddy." The cashier thought this was hilarious, for obvious reasons. Very embarrassed now, we move on and the cashier waves at Micah and says, "Bye Son!"
Love how that didn't even seem weird to my little boy. How he didn't see a color, but just a sweet guy who would play along with him. Wish that we could all be that way.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I didn't expect it to happen
I really didn't expect it. A friend told me it would happen, but I didn't really believe her. I thought we would start this process, be in the drudge of paperwork for a while, then begin the waiting process, and then maybe it would happen, maybe...
I didn't expect that I would already be loving a child. I thought it would be so different than carrying my own child. The initial joy, the hormonal mood swings, the fear, the cautiously telling people (I have had three miscarriages so I was generally pretty cautious in my telling). I feel like I am in my first trimester. I am weepy at the silliest things. My stomach feels nervous with anticipation. I day dream and get a funny half grin on my face at times. I am already picturing a baby in my arms. Thinking about what she will look like (this, obviously, is very different than carrying my biological kids). Thinking about her hair, and her little fingers and toes. Already imagining how life will change when my "due date" comes around. Thinking about life with 4 kids, and picturing my older three holding their little sibling.
Wow, I didn't really think this would happen. That my heart would open up, so exposed already, and be pouring out on my child. I knew I would pray for her. That I would think about her. But, LOVE HER already? Wow.
I know the estimated time of when we should be able to bring a child home (IF all the IF's fall in to place), and the estimated age that our child will be. So I am picturing my child's birth mom, and praying for and for her health. Picturing where she is in her pregnancy. Even found myself praying that if there was some way that the birth mom could keep her precious baby, and take care of it well, that it would happen (of course then it wouldn't be my child, but still...). I hurt for that mommy. I know what it feels like to lose a child. I have seen my best friend walk a journey of losing her almost three year old little girl. Whether that mommy gives her child up by choice, or because of her health or situation, she will still experience grief and loss.
My husband calls it "creating emotional space". There is an emotional space inside of me already that is calling out to be filled up with this little one. My arms feel the same way.
I didn't expect that I would already be loving a child. I thought it would be so different than carrying my own child. The initial joy, the hormonal mood swings, the fear, the cautiously telling people (I have had three miscarriages so I was generally pretty cautious in my telling). I feel like I am in my first trimester. I am weepy at the silliest things. My stomach feels nervous with anticipation. I day dream and get a funny half grin on my face at times. I am already picturing a baby in my arms. Thinking about what she will look like (this, obviously, is very different than carrying my biological kids). Thinking about her hair, and her little fingers and toes. Already imagining how life will change when my "due date" comes around. Thinking about life with 4 kids, and picturing my older three holding their little sibling.
Wow, I didn't really think this would happen. That my heart would open up, so exposed already, and be pouring out on my child. I knew I would pray for her. That I would think about her. But, LOVE HER already? Wow.
I know the estimated time of when we should be able to bring a child home (IF all the IF's fall in to place), and the estimated age that our child will be. So I am picturing my child's birth mom, and praying for and for her health. Picturing where she is in her pregnancy. Even found myself praying that if there was some way that the birth mom could keep her precious baby, and take care of it well, that it would happen (of course then it wouldn't be my child, but still...). I hurt for that mommy. I know what it feels like to lose a child. I have seen my best friend walk a journey of losing her almost three year old little girl. Whether that mommy gives her child up by choice, or because of her health or situation, she will still experience grief and loss.
My husband calls it "creating emotional space". There is an emotional space inside of me already that is calling out to be filled up with this little one. My arms feel the same way.
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