Getting Closer!!

Just a quick update:

We were submitted to the US Embassy on January 3rd. They say that it normally takes 1 to 2 weeks before you hear from them. They have our email address and generally copy the families with all communication to our staff. Well, as of today, we had not heard from them. To say that I have been a basket case would be an understatement. WIth all the crazy stuff going on over there, I have been thinking the worst! So I called my sweet, sweet case worker, who at this time in this journey feels like my good friend, ready to cry to her and see if we could send the Embassy an email asking what the problem is. She had encouraging news for us. Apparently they have sent emails, but they were spelling my last name wrong!!!

The Embassy has requested a birth parent interview (very standard) and that is scheduled to take place at 7:30am on January 30th (that is 12:30am EST - I imagine I won't sleep that night). Please pray - pray for R's birthmother as she has to travel to Addis again to tell her story. I have a real burden for her in all this and I have heard that these interviews can be very unpleasant. Pray that we are CLEARED!!! We could find out that same day that we have been cleared to travel, or we could hear that they need more information, or that they need to forward our case to the Embassy in Nairobi for further investigation. Our case is pretty cut and dry but you never know. IF we are cleared, we could travel later that week or the first part of the next week.

Please pray - pray that we will clear Embassy. Pray that we travel quickly.

So excited and grateful!

Our Paperwork is at the US Embassy

We learned last week (1/2/12) that all our paperwork had been submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. After we passed court in Ethiopia on 12/14/11, they have to gather all her paperwork (passport, new birth certificate, etc.) and submit that to the US Embassy to be reviewed. The reviewal process typical takes anywhere from 3-8 weeks and can have many bumps along the way so we are praying that it is all cut and dry and goes smoothly. Once the case is reviewed we will be given an Embassy appt. to go and pick up our sweet girl!

Hair, Products, Hair, Products, Hair Products????

I can not tell you how many hours going to stores, searching the internet, reading articles, I have spent all in the attempt to learn more about caring for our little Ethiopian girl's hair! It is amazing how overwhelming it all is!!

I am learning all sorts of new words, terms, ideas. How often to wash her hair, or don't wash it at all but only co-wash it. How to keep her hair moisturized. What type of products to put in her hair and how often a day to do it. Does she need a leave-in, milk, a smoothie, or maybe a soufflé product?? How to find satin crib sheets since she is too little to sleep with a satin hair wrap or satin pillow, and her hair will be so dry that cotton fibers can make it break and be frizzy. What type of hair does she have - 3a,3b, 4a, 4b? and what do all those mean anyway.

A LOT of information...and I am loving it! but...eventually I am going to have to bite the bullet and buy something before she gets home :-)

3 weeks later

It has been 3 weeks since we first got on a plane to go to Addis Ababa. To make the long trip over to meet our precious daughter at last. It has been a little over 2 weeks since we came home and let me tell you...those 2 weeks have been long.

It was hard to leave Ethiopia - the sweetness of the people, the amazing JOY they have, amidst the poverty and dirt. The beauty of the terrain. So many things that heighten your senses. We had such a sweet, sweet time there with our little girl. I feel myself longing for not only her, but for Ethiopia as well. Craving the food, the bustle, even the crazy driving. To leave that sweet week and come back into the crazy busy, crazy commercial, crazy hustle of the holiday season. My kids had one week of school left and it was full of Christmas parties and such - the scramble of the forgotten teachers presents! Last minute presents to buy. Loads of laundry. Trying to grieve - oh how my heart felt paralyzed. Such a dear reunion with my kids, but they had suffered our absence as well. They had a great week with friends, but within an hour of being with them, I could feel the release of a weeks worth of pent up emotions coming out of them. Trying to be present with and for them, to just sit and hold them, to not get frustrated with their whining when I really wanted to whine myself. Loved being back with them, but it made the "unfinished" part of our family even more obvious. Trying to process out all I was feeling, getting in the Christmas "spirit", when the meaning of Christmas felt so very different than any other year of my life probably. Honestly, this paragraph wears me out just writing it!

We had a sweet Christmas - spent together as a family and with some extended family. Celebrating the birth of our Savior, loving watching my kids open their gifts and the excitement that they always have.

But the absence is never far from me. My arms longing for the weight of her. Wanting to start this new stage of our life. Our kids are very excited to bring her home and love looking at the pictures of her over and over, the videos showing her sweet smile and giggle. My 3 year old asking most days if we can go get baby "R" after dinner, or after nap, or tomorrow when we wake up. My almost 8 year old telling me that the thought of R coming home ranks a 10 on a scale of 1-10, but sometimes the excitement gets bumped down a couple of points by the fact that he is now having to share his room with Micah (the 3 year old!). My sweet Kate is ready to go shopping for her new little sister! Not a day goes by that I don't go through all the pictures - memorizing her face again and again.

So, what are we doing now? Waiting...again :-) Once all of our paperwork is gathered from passing through the Ethiopian courts, it will be submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. That normally takes a few weeks. Then it take another couple of week for them to process your case. Typically there are request for further information, such as requesting to meet with R's birthmother. Sometimes it can get referred to a bigger US Embassy in Nairobi. Then eventually, though we do not know when, the Embassy will clear our case and we will be issued an Embassy date - THAT is when we get to go back!!!! So, it could be 5 weeks, it could be 3 months. Please pray with me that it is the former, and we can get this baby girl home to our family!

So, in the meantime, I am nesting some more. Moving Micah into Daniel's room. Unpacking the crib, going through girl clothes - what do I have, what do I need. Learning all I can about caring for african hair and skin, practicing my techniques on Kate (though she has silky straight blond hair). Shopping :-) Working on being in the present. Savoring this time with only 3 kids, and no infant. Movies, putt-putt golf, ice skating, sleeping in! I know that will change for a time when little miss gets home, but I am ready and excited about the change.

Can't wait to be able to show you the sweet little smile that is behind this heart!

Trip 1 - Day 5: the day we have to say good-bye

I have prayed for this day for so long. Probably envisioned this day even more than the day that I finally got to meet her. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would rip my heart out, and tear a piece of me off to say good-bye to her - to leave her so far away from me, to have my children on 2 different continents.

It was a day like most of the other days - we were picked up to be taken to Hannah's Hope. We spent the morning easily getting smiles, holding her as she slept, giving her her bottles. Then back to the hotel for lunch. Then back to Hannah's Hope for our last visit with her. I knew it would go by quickly. A part of me longed to go home: I wasn't feeling great, I was dreading the 28 hour travel day home, I was missing my sweet kids here, anxious to get this heart break over and start marking the days until we get to go back and bring her home. In those last few hours of holding her, I longed for her, even more than I ever have. Wondering at her, at this precious child that God had chosen to bless us with, marveling at how He could have picked me, picked her, picked us to be brought together as a family. As I was holding this sleeping child in my arms, I saw Wass coming toward me, I knew the hour. I tried to blend in hoping he would just walk on by so I didn't hear the words I knew were coming,

"It is time to go."

As I walked over to the baby house I felt as though I was walking to my doom. My heart was surely going to beat out of my chest. I had done this every day this week - left her in the more than capable, very loving arms of her special mothers. Yet, this was different. This time didn't have a 'you get to come back in the morning.' It was hard to see my big strong husband saying good-bye to his tiny little girl. Snuggling her one more time.

I held it together pretty well, not wanting to freak the other older kids out with my sobbing disaster of a self. I held it together pretty well as we went back to the hotel to pack up and get ready to go to the airport. I held it together pretty well through the chaos of finding our way through the Addis airport and having our plane delayed over and over because the oven in business class wasn't working.

The plane was pretty full but there were some empty seats right in front of our row so we decided to spread out a bit. Not a great idea, I really needed the comfort of my husband because I DID NOT do so well as the plane took off. In that moment of that plane lifting off from my daughter's country, it hit me so hard I could barely breath. I was leaving her and I didn't know when I would get to go back. There is no getting up and going back in the morning. There is no after lunch visit before her bedtime. I am going to miss these next few days, weeks, maybe months of her life. I really thought I was going to stop breathing in that moment it hurt so badly. I had been praying for grace and mercy all week long, and it was only that building up of my strength in God's presence that got me through that moment. Leaving her not only in the hands of her special mothers, but in the hands of her very Special and very Loving Father. Trusting Him with her took on a completely different meaning once I had held her in my arms.

The flight home was hard. Long and hard. It took us about 28 hours of traveling to get home. There were several times that I swore that only the love for one of my children could make me go through that again! But go through it again I will, and next time I will bring my daughter home for good!

Trip 1 - Day 4: Court Day

On our Court Day, Danny picked us up early so that we could make it to court on time. The traffic was horrible! We had to stop to pick up Haile (our court processor/advocate) to go with us. Court is not at all what you would imagine. It isn't some nice court house with revolving doors. We did go through a security check to go in, and then trekked up the 4 flights of stairs to the court waiting room (not so easy to do in that altitude). We walked into a tiny little room where most of the chairs were broken and it was packed with people. We had been warned ahead of time to be quiet and respectful as the judge has closed court before due to people being too loud. There were tons of people - adoptive families, birth parents there to relinquish their rights, and other people there for various reasons. Though feeling a bit better, Matthew was still pretty sick so he was propped up against a wall in a corner dozing in and out of awareness. There is no order to how people are called so you have to be there when court starts and wait until you get called. We got there at about 9:15 and we were finally called into the judges chambers at around 11. It was very simple and very quick. She asked us such questions as: Have we educated ourselves and prepared ourselves for adopting a child, how did our other children feel about another child, had we started learning some about Ethiopian culture so that we could teach our child about her country, had we connected with other families with adopted children, did we know that once this was over that she was officially ours. Once we answered all her questions, the words we had been waiting for, "She is all yours!" What a strange mixture of feelings! Excitement, fear, what have we done!!!! and wonder, just plain wonder! We officially have 4 kids!

After court, we went to the market to shop a bit. It was crazy - so many things and so many people. We had a list of things that we wanted to look for - some things for our family, some things to have for her as she grows, special little gifts we can give her at different times in her life. It isn't like you can just go back to Ethiopia and pick up something you forgot so we tried to make the most of our time.

After a short rest at the hotel, it was back to Hannah's Hope and "officially" our daughter. Even though I knew she didn't know the difference, I whispered over and over to her that she was "officially" ours. It did feel different somehow.

It was bath time so I got to give her a bath - been a while since I have bathed a slippery little baby! She really loves the water and smiled and "talked" through the whole thing. I lotioned her all up, then one of the special mothers put a big glob of baby oil in my hand to rub in her hair - a little different from my little white babies :-)

Tomorrow is our last day...dreading it already.

Trip 1 - Day 3

This was a great day - nothing planned but just being at Hannah's Hope with R. After we picked up R from her Special mother, we took her into the clinic to weigh her. She is growing! She is about 4 months old (we think...it is hard to know for sure because birthdays are not something that is very important in Ethiopian cultural and are often wrong), but she seems by her size and development to be closer to 3 months. She weighed 10 lbs., was 22 in. long, and head circumference of 38 cm. I loved checking her all out - counting her toes and looking over all her fingers.

We got Wass to translate so we could ask the special mothers some questions about her. She eats about every 2 hours - they really do give them a bottle every time they cry. If she just ate an hour ago but didn't finish all her bottle, the next time she cries, they give her the rest. When she wakes up at night she might drink an ounce of milk and then go right back to bed, so she is really used to just sort of snacking anytime she wants to! She seems like a pretty easy going baby.

After lunch we went back to Hannah's Hope - R had just gotten out of the bath. We spent some time talking to Almaz and she gave us a CD of pictures of R birth mom. When her birth mom came to Addis for her court date, she came to Hannah's Hope to see R. The staff talked to her for a while and asked her questions that they will give to us when we go back and they took pictures of her with R. It was much harder to see these pictures than I thought it would be. She is a beautiful woman and her love for R was obvious. I love this woman dearly and my heart hurts for her.

Matthew got really sick today. Running a pretty high fever, chills, and having a hard time staying awake and being upright - a little scary when you are in a 3rd world country and have no idea what to do if he needs medical help. Thankfully I had brought a prescription of antibiotics so he started those and within about 24 hours was feeling better. We had court the next day so staying in bed was not an option!